Q: Why couldn't Brian Johnson fall asleep? A: Because you shook him all night long.

Why was Chester so upset at Easter supper? Because he was the only one Baking The Rabbit.

What did the cup of coffee say to Joe Elliott? Pour some sugar on me

Q Have you heard about the aquatic cannibalistic Bananarama tribute act? A They are called Piranha rama

A philosopher goes to a website and discovers the song “Rhythm Steps” by Herbie Kay. After playing it just one time, the philosopher dislikes the song so much that he decides to look up where Herbie is buried, so he can visit it in person. In the middle of the night, he visits the cemetery where his grave is located, brings out a brown paper bag from his car, and places the bag on his grave. He breathes a sigh of relief. When he gets back into the car, he turns on the radio, expecting to listen to “Red Eye Radio”, but instead “Rhythm Steps” plays! The driver is so shocked that he accidentally drives faster than he normally would, and goes off a ramp and lands into an indoor kids’ playground that is closed. The car crashes through the roof and lands inside, fortunately not harming anyone. As the airbags are deployed, the car is still playing “Rhythm Steps”. When the last words, “Simple as the day is long!” are sung, a paper bag from seemingly nowhere drops into the car, which has no roof anymore. It lands on the face of the driver, who immediately passes out from smelling the bag.

I recently realised in science class that the Beatles’ song “Hey Jude” is actually about sodium.

How old was Suzi Quatro in 1954? Four. (True, but the name “Quatro” means four, and that makes it a joke.)

What do you call a Calvin Harris concert that also features Ellie Goulding? A Miracle.

Ozzy Osbourne was performing "Crazy Train" in front of a large crowd in Wembley Stadium when he felt something in his pants and ran off the stage real quick. An audience member then shouted, "Hey, look, 'Diarrhea of a Madman!'

Fuel was added to the climate change debate when George Michael drove his car to the summit of Mt Everest & officially became the World's "highest" motorist