Misheard song lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody.
	This page contains all the misheard lyrics for Dire Straits that have been submitted to this site and the old collection from inthe80s started in 1996.
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There are 298 misheard song lyrics for Dire Straits on amIright currently.
There are also Dire Straits misheard lyrics stories  also available.
And if I give up my soul, won't you give me the right
And if I give up my sword, won't you give me the right
I feel like this one makes sense either way.
 
And the wind did hurt me so bad in the fear and alarm.
And though they did hurt me so bad in the fear and alarm.
 
And with only the heavens above
 and the fear in your arms,
 you did not deserve it, my brothers in arms
And though they did hurt me so bad
 in the fear and alarm,
 you did not desert me, my brothers in arms
 
And you're no longer born to be brothers in arms
And you'll no longer burn to be brothers in arms
 
Now the sun's gone to Hea-ven
 The moon's riding high.
Now the sun's gone to Hell
 And the moon's riding high.
 
Please Mister Colored Man-n-n-n-an
or
These mis-coloured mountains
or
These mis-coloured mountains
These mist-covered mountains
 
These mist-coloured mountains
 Are all life for me.
These mist covered mountains
 Are a home now for me.
 
These mist-coloured mountains
 are all life for me
These mist covered mountains
 Are a home now for me
 
These mist-covered mountains are all there for me.
These mist-covered mountains are a home now for me.
 
We're the homeless, the lonely
 and always will be.
But my home is the lowlands
 and always will be.
 
Now this song's gone to hell
Now the sun's gone to hell
 
Call Ye Elves'a, - - A Sanitary Ohm?
 Call Ye Elves'a - - I'm here on a loan.
Calling Elvis - - is anybody home?
 Calling Elvis - - I'm here all alone.
 
Did he leave the villain
Or can he come to the ghost?
Did he leave the building
Or can he come to the phone?
 
Golden airwaves
Calling Elvis
 
"Down To the Waterline" (MP3) 
Out comes the Coast Guard
Up comes a coaster
 
Now you and me go parallel together in a park
Now you and me go parallel together and apart
 
If you wanna run cool
 You got to have
 A very early funeral.
If you wanna run cool
 You got to run
 On heavy, heavy fuel.
 
If you wanna run cool
 You got to run on aviator fuel.
If you wanna run cool
 You got to run on heavy, heavy fuel.
 
If you want to run cool, 
you've got to run on radiator fuel.
If you wanna run cool
 You got to run on heavy, heavy fuel.
 
And then he get a knife
 Says he doesn't want to bring it down.
And then you get an artist
 Says he doesn't want to paint at all.
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
I don't know how you came to get the vegitative sneeze.
I don't know how you came to get the Bette Davis knees.
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
Sombody drew a spaniard, 
he drew 'em in the hole
Sombody threw a spanner, 
he threw it in a hole
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
The magazine of ladders
 or
 Come back here, Señorita.
Come back and see you later.
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
There's leaking in the washroom
 She's a-stinkin' her smell.
There's leaking in the washroom
 There's a sneak in personnel.
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
They got three speech-tourists, 40 cent trucks
They got free speech, tourists, police in trucks
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
They wanna have a war to stop the spying Japanese
They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese
 
"Industrial Disease" (MP3) 
Which dogs got rabies, before man got the fleas?
Watchdog's got rabies, the foreman got the fleas
 
Baby white out on the TV.
Lady writer on the TV
 
Lady writer on the TV
 She had all the brains in the putty.
Lady writer on the TV
 She had all the brains and the beauty.
 
Lady writer on the TV
 Talk about the birds and marry.
Lady writer on the TV
 Talk about the Virgin Mary.
 
Lady writer on the TV
 Talk about the furniture man.
Lady writer on the TV
 Talk about the Virgin Mary.
 
Lady writer on the TV
 She had all the brains and a boutique
Lady writer on the TV
 She had all the brains and the beauty.
 
Lay your lighter on the tv
Lady writer on the tv
 
High heel shoes
 And a blackberry
High heel shoes
 And a black beret
 
"Man's Too Strong"
I'm just an ancient trillobite
I 'm just an ageing drummer-boy
 
"Man's Too Strong"
They masturbate.
 The man's too strong.
The man's too big.
 The man's too strong.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Ain't workin', that's the way you do it 
You play the guitar on the instrument
Ain't workin', that's the way you do it 
You play the guitar on the Mtv
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Ain't worth it, that's the way you do it
 You pay the git on the empty V.
Ain't workin', that's the way you do it
 You play the guitar on the MTV.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Baby get a piston on your little finger
 Baby get a pistol on your thumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
 Maybe get a blister on your thumb
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Baby, get a Flintstone on your little finger 
Baby, get a Flintstone on your thumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger 
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Bangin' on the bongos like a gym fest.
Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Bangin' on them bongos like a Chia Pet; see?
Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Banging on the bongos like a ship hands, hee
Banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Banging on the bottles like a chimpanzees
Banging on the bongos like a chimpanzees
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Bebe, quiero queso roñoso.
Maybe get a blister on your thumb.
The misheard line means "Baby, I want rusty cheese" in Spanish.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Checks for free
Chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Cheques for free
Chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Custard kitchen deliberated
Custom kitchen delivery
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Custom Bitchn' dish and liver fleas
Custom kitchen deliveries
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Custom kitchen with delivery
Custom kitchen deliveries
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Get your money for nothing, 
and potato chips for free
Get your money for nothing, 
and the chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Got some kitchen deliveries
Custom kitchen deliveries
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Got some kitchens to liberate
Custom kitchens, deliveries
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
He's bangin' on the bongos like a tin can
or
He's bangin' on the bongos like it's his best friend' 
or
He's bangin' on the bongos like a dingbat
or
He's bangin' on the bongos like a dingbat
He's bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
He's banging on the bongos like a Supplex
He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
He's banging on the bongos like a tempest.
He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
He's banging on the bongos like your triplets.
He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
He’s banging on the bongos like a chimp fest.
He's banging on the bongos like a chimpanzee.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Hi, want my MTV
I want my MTV
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
History
Chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I always thought they said pistol on your little finger
 Maybe get a pistol on your thumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
 Maybe get a blister on your thumb
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my ON-TV
I want my MTV
ON-TV was a pay-per-view movie channel (kind of a precursor of HBO) that was in existence during the early and mid 80's. It actually went under at about the same time this song came out, making the misheard lyric seem appropriate.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my antique.
I want my MTV.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my chips for free.
And your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my empty flea.
I want my MTV.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my own TV.
I want my MTV.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my own teeth.
I want my MTV.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Look at that mama, 
she got it stickin' in the camera, man!
 Who cares so?
Look at that mama, 
she got it stickin' in the camera.
 Man, we could have some fun.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Look at that mama, 
she got it sticking in the camera lens, 
ooh that's fun.
Look at that mama, 
she got it sticking in the camera, 
man we could have some fun.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Look at that mama
 She got it stickin' in the camera, man!
 I'd like to have some!
Look at that mama
 She got it stickin' in the camera
 Man, we could have some fun.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Maybe get a Bisco on your little finger
 Maybe get a Bisco Yunson.
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
 Maybe get a blister on your thumb.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Maybe get a birthstone on your little finger
 Maybe get a birthstone on your thumb.
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
 Maybe get a blister on your thumb.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Maybe get a crystal on your little finger
Maybe get a crystal on your thumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Maybe get a pistol on your little finger 
Maybe get a pistol on your thumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger 
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Maybe get a pistol on your little finger, 
maybe get a pistol on your thumb.
Maybe get a blister on your little finger, 
maybe get a blister on your thumb.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothin' and you're six foot three.
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothin' and your cheques for free
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothin' and your chips for free.
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothin' and your drinks for free.
Money for nothin' and your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothing and you're six foot three.
Money for nothing and your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothing and your checks for free.
Money for nothing and your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothing and your chips for free.
Money for nothing and your chicks for free.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Monkeys for nothing and your chimps for free
Money for nothing and your chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
Now look at them eating Oreo's, that's the way you do it
Now look at them yo-yo's, that's the way you do it
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
See the fatty with the hearing and the mink coat 
Yeah buddy that's his only hair 
The little fatty has his own jet airplane 
That little fatty is a millionaire
See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup 
Yeah buddy that's his own hair 
That little faggot got his own jet airplane 
That little faggot he's a millionaire
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
That little f****t, he's a meemy-yummy!
The little f****t, he's a millionaire.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
The little faggot with the earing and the mink coat
The little faggot with the earing and the makeup
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
The little fathead with the earring and the make-up.
The little f****t with the earring and the make-up.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
The little finger with the eerie little make-up.
The little f****t with the earring and the make-up.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We burnt the fish in the microwave oven.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We custom install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen deliveries
 We got some movies, refrigerators
 We got some movies, color TV.
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery
 We gotta move these refrigerators
 We gotta move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We go to movies, refrigerators, We go to movies, color TV's
We got to move these refrigerators, we gotta move these color TV's.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We going to buy some microwave ovens.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got Thermisto microwave ovens.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got a keystone microwave oven.
We gotta install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got a pizza, microwave ovens,
Got some kitchens, and Liberace,
We got the movies, refrigerators,
We got the movies, color TV's,
Get your money for nothin', and your sex for free
We gotta install microwave ovens,
custom kitchens, deliveries.
We got to move these refrigerators,
we gotta move these color TV's.
Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got an in-store microwave woman.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got da restored microwave ovens
 Country kitchen delivery
 We got da groovy refrigerators
 We got da groovy color TV's.
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery
 We gotta move these refrigerators
 We gotta move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got moonbeams, refrigerators
We got moonbeams, color TVs.
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some Bristol microwave ovens. 
Custom kitchens, deliveries. 
We got some movies, refrigerators. 
We got some movies, color TV's
We gotta install microwave ovens, 
custom kitchens, deliveries. 
We got to move these refrigerators, 
we gotta move these color TV's
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some in-store microwave ovens.
We've got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some mist all like the way mothers.
We gotta install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some mixed up microwave ovens.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some real strong microwave ovens
 Cut the kitchen the liver and eggs
 We got some movies refrigerators
 We got some movies, color TV.
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery
 We gotta move these refrigerators
 We gotta move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got the hits for microwave ovens.
We gotta install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got the kicks on microwave ovens.
We gotta install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got the movies refrigerators
 We got the movies called MTV.
We got to move these refrigerators
 We got to move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got to diss the microwave moving.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got to fix those microwave ovens
 Cuss and bittch and deliberate.
We've got to install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got to get some motherfuck women
 Cuz the kitchen delivery
 We've got some movies, refresh your rhytm
 We've got some movies counting free.
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery
 We gotta move these refrigerators
 We gotta move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We got to rinse those microwave ovens.
We gotta install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We gotta install Microsoft Office
We got to install microwave ovens.
However, I think this song predates Microsoft Office, or any versions of it.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We gotta pinch those microwave ovens.
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We've got some real stole microwave ovens.
We've got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We've got the in-store microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen deliveries
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We've got the movies refrigerators
We've got to move these refrigerators
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We've got the thrift store microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery.
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen deliveries.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We've got to moon the refrigerator
 We've got to moon the color TV.
We've got to move these refrigerators
 We've got to move these color TVs.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
We've got your New Star microwave ovens 
Custom kitchen deliveries 
We've got your movies, refrigerators 
We've got your movies, color tv's
We gotta install microwave ovens 
Custom kitchen deliveries 
We gotta move these refrigerators 
We gotta move these color tv's
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
What's that? Do I hear noises?
What's that? Hawaiian noises.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
What's that? Don't want your noises!
What's that? Hawaiian noises?
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
What's that? How are ya noises?
What's that? Hawaiian noises.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
What’s that, Hawaiian ointment?
What's that? Hawaiian noises.
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
You're bangin' on the bottles like you're too bads
You're banging on those bongo's like a chimpanzee
 
"Money For Nothing" (MP3) 
You get your money for nothing and your kicks for free
or
You get your money for nothing and your chips for free (I want my mushy peas)
or
Your money's for nothing, and your checks for free.
or
Your money's for nothing, and your checks for free.
Get your money for nothin', get your chicks for free. (I want my Mtv)
According to the lead singer of the group, he overheard this anthem being muttered by some guys in the back room of an appliance store while watching Mtv one day.
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
He's bangin' on the bongos like a chimpy
He's bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee
There needs to be a website that lists the many songs where the artist expects you to hear a particular word, but sings something different. This is an example where Knopfler sings 'chimpy', but the lyrics say 'chimpanzee'. The song is also a little confusing because Knopfler sings "That ain't workin'", which is normally understood as "That method is a failure" when in fact he means "That is an example of work being great fun".
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I am on MTV
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I want Election Day
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my ATV
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my LCD
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my MP3
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my MVP
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
I want my heavy beam
I want my MTV
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Look at that mama, she’s got her... sticking in the camera lens,
I wish I could have some.
Look at that mama, she got it sticking in the camera,
Man we could have some fun.
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Maybe a little Blistex on your thumb
Maybe a little blister on your thumb
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothing and chips for free.
Money for nothing and chicks for free
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Money for nothing and your check’s for free
Money for nothing and your chicks for free
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Put the kids in microwaves ovens
We got to install microwave ovens.
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
See the little finger with the earring and the makeup?
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair
That little finger got his own jet airplane
That little finger, he's a millionaire
See the little fa**ot with the earring and the makeup?
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair
That little fa**ot got his own jet airplane
That little fa**ot, he's a millionaire
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Sugarland to play the guitar
I should have learned to play the guitar
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got an in store microwave oven
We gotta install microwave ovens
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got it in store, Michael in office
We gotta install microwave ovens
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some boobies, refrigerators
We got some boobies, color TVs
We got to move these refrigerators
We got to move these color TVs
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some disco microwave ovens,
Custom kitchens, delivery;
We got some movies, refrigerators,
We got some movies, color TVs
We got to install microwave ovens,
Custom kitchens, delivery;
We got to move these refrigerators,
We got to move these color TVs.
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some movies, refrigerators
 We got some movies, color TVs
We got to move these refrigerators
 We got to move these color TVs
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got some movies
We got to move these
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got to install a microwave oven
 'Cause the kitchen deliberate
 We gotta move the refrigerator
 Gotta move this colour TV.
We gotta install microwave ovens
 Custom kitchen delivery
 We gotta move these refrigerators
 We gotta move these color TVs.
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We got to move these incinerators
We got to move these refrigerators
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
We gotta insult Michael and Bowie
We gotta install microwave ovens
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
What's that? Hawaiian Punches!
What's that? Hawaiian noises!
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair
Yeah buddy, that's his only care
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
Yeah buddy, that's his own head
Yeah buddy, that's his only care
 
"Money for Nothing" (MP3) 
You play that kitten on the MTV
You play that guitar on the MTV
 
Can't find no sleeves for my records
Can't get no lasers for my shoes
Can't find no sleeves for my records
Can't get no laces for my shoes
 
Can't get no remedy on my teenage
 There's nothing but the same old news.
Can't get no remedy on my TV
 There's nothing but the same old news.
 
"Private Investigations" (MP3) 
It's a misery to me
It's a mystery to me
 
All I do is kiss you through the bars of Orion.
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme.
 
Juliet when we made love you used a guy
Juliet when we made love you used to cry
 
Juliet, "When will they learn?" you used to cry
 OR 
Juliet, "When will we learn?" you used to cry
 OR 
Juliet, "When will I learn?" you used to cry
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
 
All I did was kiss you through the balls of a rhino
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme.
 
All I do is chase you through the bars in the rain
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme.
 
You said I love you like the stars of love
You said I love you like the stars above
 
"Skateaway"
And then she let a big Jock grease her up
I swear she let a big truck grease her hip
 
"Skateaway"
Fish let a big truck grease her hip
I swear she let a big truck grease her hip
 
"Skateaway"
In arrears, her folks are tight
And the music's playing loud
In her ears the phones are tight
And the music's playing loud
 
"Skateaway"
No fees, a walnut night
She's sailing through the crowd
 In arrears, you don't sleep tight
And the music's playing loud
No fears alone at night
She's sailing through the crowd
 In her ears the phones are tight
And the music's playing loud
 
"Skateaway"
She's making movies on occasion.
She's making movies on location.
 
"Skateaway"
She's making movies on vacation
She's making movies on location.
 
"Skateaway"
She's making movies, no gay s***.
She's making movies on location.
 
"Skateaway"
When the music holds you tight
And the music's playing loud
In her ears the phones are tight
And the music's playing loud
 
And I get so tired when I have to complain
And I get so tired when I have to explain
 
And in this old town when I have to explain.
And I get so tired when I have to explain.
 
I'm here in armegedon in this mean ol town, 
and your so far away from me
Here I am again in this mean ol town, 
and your so far away from me
 
Sofa away from me
 Sofa, I just can't see
 Sofa away from me
 You're sofa away from me.
So far away from me
 So far, I just can't see
 So far away from me
 You're so far away from me.
 
Sofa away from me
So far away from me
 
Suffer on your thumb-y
So far away from me
 
The waiter and the gator in this mean ol town and you're so far away from me
Here I am again in this mean ol town, and you're so far away from me
 
The waiter and the gator in this mean old town,
And you're so far away from me
Here I am again in this mean ol' town,
And you're so far away from me
 
You still found a way for me
You’re so far away from me
 
Your sofa away from me
You're so far away from me
 
Hitler realized that his chances were slim
If I realized that the chances were slim
 
How's your car?
Never built a shovel
Well a house of cards
Was never built for shock
 
And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene
He hasn't caught covid, he's doing alright
And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene.
He's got a daytime job, he's doing alright.
 
And says at last just as the tardy bell rings
And says at last just as the time bell rings
 
Coming in out of the rain, you hear the jazz go down
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
 
Feel all right when you hear the music play
You feel alright when you hear that music ring
 
There's a Chevy in the dark, 
 It's waiting in the park, but meantime
You get a shiver in the dark 
 It's been raining in the park but meantime
 
We don't answer, we don't answer
 From the top
Way on down south, way on down south
 London town
 
We're the Sultans, we are the Sultans of Twist.
We're the sultans, we are the Sultans of Swing.
 
A band is blowing Dixon doubled for time
A band is blowing Dixie double four time
 
A bandit's blowing Disney
A band is blowing Dixie
 
A bandit's blowing Dixie double four time
 You feel alright when you hear that music thing
A band is blowing Dixie double four time
 You feel alright when you hear that music ring
 
A banner's blowing Dixie
A band is blowing Dixie
 
A cannon's blowing Texas
A band is blowing Dixie
 
And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make her scream,
He's got a tiny knob, it hangs to the right.
And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene,
He's got a daytime job, he's doing alright.
 
And Harry doesn't mind, if he doesn't, make the scene
He's got a date lined up, he's doing alright
And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene.
He's got a daytime job, he's doing alright.
 
And they crowd a young bar and stand, foolin' around in the corner.
Chuckin' chestnuts and sperm baggies in their platform soles
And a crowd of young boys, they're fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles.
 
Aunt Harry doesn't mind
And Harry doesn't mind
 
Check out Guitar George, he knows all the chords
Mind his tricky rhythm, he doesn't want to make it cry or sing
This sand burst old guitar is all he can afford
You check out guitar George, he knows all the chords
Mind, it's strictly rhythm he doesn't want to make it cry or sing
They said an old guitar is all he can afford
 
Check out Guitar John
Check out Guitar George
 
Check out ghetto George
He knows hardcore
Check out guitar George
He knows all the chords
 
Colleen, alright hear the jazz go down. 
 Competition, you know that I places.
Coming in out of the rain, they hear the jazz go down. 
 Competition in other places
 
Constipation in other places
Competition in other places
 
Defended old guitar is all he can't afford
Left-handed old guitar is all he can afford
 
He doesn't want to make a cryal scene
 or
He doesn't want to make a cryal thing
He doesn't want to make it cry or sing
 
He's got a dirty job
He's got a daytime job
 
Jump and press the big sperm bag he's in his papaw's soul.
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles.
 
Jumping justly past the sperm baggies in their platform soles.
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles.
 
Sound of the rhythm you stop and you hold everything
South of the river you stop and you hold everything
 
They said an old guitar is all he can afford
Left-handed old guitar is all he can afford
 
They say an old guitar is all he can afford
Left-handed old guitar is all he can afford
 
Way on downtown
Way on down south
 
We are consultants, we're the Consultants of Swing
We're the sultans, we are the Sultans of Swing.
 
We are insulted
We are the sultans
 
We are the Solarcaine
We are the sultans
 
We are the sergeants of spleen
We are the sultans of swing
 
We are the sergeants of swing
We are the sultans of swing
 
We're the Soul Train
We're the sultans
 
We're the sergeants
We're the sultans
 
We're the subject
We're the subject of swing
We're the sultans
We're the sultans of swing
 
We're the sundance of spring
or
We're the sundance of swing
We're the sultans of swing
 
Weigh on down in the sound of London town
Way on down south, London town
 
When it's strictly rhythm he doesn't wanna make a cryal scene
Mind he's strictly rhythm he doesn't want to make it cry or sing
 
You check out guitar charge
He knows all the cards
You check out Guitar George
He knows all the chords
 
You check out guitar chores
You check out Guitar George
 
A long time ago came a man on a track
 Walking thirty miles with a cat on his back
A long time ago came a man on a track
 Walking thirty miles with a sack on his back
 
From these rivers of head lice, these rivers of rain
From these rivers of headlights, these rivers of rain
 
Telegram for war
Telegraph road
 
"The Man's Too Big" (MP3) 
I masturbate
 And that's just wrong!
The man's too big
 The man's too strong.
 
"The Man's Too Strong" (MP3) 
And masturbating makes you strong.
The man's too big, the man's too strong.
 
"The Man's Too Strong" (MP3) 
I'm just an eighteen trouble boy
I'm just an ageing drummer-boy
 
"The Man's Too Strong" (MP3) 
Now they say I am a wild criminal 
and I'm fading away 
Father, please hear my calm fashion
Now they say I am a war criminal 
and I'm fading away 
Father, please here my confession
 
And I've been riding on the Gulf Stream.
And I been riding on a ghost train.
 
I'm crazy running water but it's the life that I choose
 Sing about the sixth place, sing about the sixpack
 And a tallship tattoo.
Getting crazy on the waltzers but it's the life that I choose
 Sing about the sixblade, sing about the switchback
 And a torture tattoo.
 
Neon burnin', Uh oh oh o-h.
Neon burnin' up above.
 
Getting crazy on the monsters but it's the life that I choose
Getting crazy on the waltzers but it's the life that I choose
 
Girl it looked so pretty to me, just like it always did, just like the Spanish City Turin".
And girl it looks so pretty to me just like it always did
Like the Spanish city to me .
The Spanish City is (was?) apparently a fun fair or amusement park in the North East of England.
 
Going crazy on the wall, sir, but it's the life that I choose
Getting crazy on the waltzers but it's the life that I choose
 
I put my hand up on her femur
I put my hand upon the Lever
 
"Twistin By The Pool" (MP3) 
Twistin' Podoboo
Twistin' by the pool
 
"Twisting By The Pool" (MP3) 
Biz day rider cool
Twisting by the pool
 
"Twisting By The Pool" (MP3) 
There's a Starbuck's on the beach.
There's a call-box on the beach.
 
"Twisting By The Pool" (MP3) 
Twist him by the b***s.
Twisting by the pool.
 
"Twisting By The Pool" (MP3) 
Twistin' rider poo
Twistin' by the pool
 
"Twisting by the Pool" (MP3) 
Gonna take a villain
Gonna take a villa
 
"Twisting by the Pool" (MP3) 
Tristan by the pool
Twisting by the pool
 
"Twisting by the Pool" (MP3) 
Twisted by the bull
Twisting by the pool
 
And after all the violence and Noah's ark
And after all the violence and double talk
 
Do the walk on by.
Do the walk of life.
 
He do the song about the seagull and the woman.
He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman.
 
He do the song about the secret of the woman.
He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman.
 
He got male action, he got the lotion
 Oh yeah, the boy can't wait
 Medication and the lotion
 He is turning all the night life into a gay.
He got the action, he got the motion
 Yeah, the boy can play
 Dedication, devotion
 Turning all the night time into the day.
 
Here comes Johnny saying 'Go Leafs Go' 
You gotta hear it baby what I say 
Here comes Johnny saying I got a woman 
Down in the corners trying to make a play 
He got the action, he got the motion 
Oh yeah, the boy can play
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
 
Here comes Johnny singing 'Morning Glories'
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here pajamas singing oldies, goldies.
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies.
 
Keep on jogging singing oldies, goldies
 Be-bop-a-lua, baby what I say
 Keep on jogging singing I've got a woman
 Down in the valley, trying to make her sway
Here comes johnny singing oldies, goldies
 Be-bop-a-lua, baby what I say
 Here comes johnny singing I got a woman
 Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
 
Pecan Johnny
Here comes Johnny
 
Walk on fire
Walk of life
 
We got the action, you got the moanction 
 Yeah, the boy Kimberly.
We got the action, we got the motion
 Yeah, the boy can play.
 
Do a lot of light
Do the walk of life
 
Do the Wonka bar
Do the walk of life
 
Do the hard knock life
Do the walk of life
 
Do the rock of life
Do the walk of life
 
Do the rocket man
Do the walk of life
 
He did this summer after nine
He did the song about the knife
 
He do the song about my wife
He do the song about the knife
 
He do the song about the Six Million Dollar Woman
He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman
 
He do the song about the light
He do the song about the knife
 
He do the song about the sweet 'n loopy woman.
He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman.
 
He do this song about the cigarette woman
He do this song about the night
Hoody, do the walk
Do the walk of light
Yeah, you do the walk of light
He do the song about the sweet lovin' woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk
Do the walk of life
Yeah, you do the walk of life
 
Here comes Johnny saying "Go Leafs, Go!"
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in Toronto, trying to make a play
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
 
Here comes Johnny singing all these stories
Here comes Johnny singing oldies goldies
 
Here comes Johnny singing cold meat storage
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here comes Johnny singing goldfish goldfish
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here comes Johnny singing hold these goalies
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here comes Johnny singing old Greek stories
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here comes Johnny singing oldie stories
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here comes Johnny singing whole wheat stories
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 
Here comes Johnny
Gonna tell you "I'm sorry"
Here comes Johnny
Gonna tell you a story
 
Here comes Journey singing only Cold-Eeze
Here comes Johnny singing oldies goldies
 
Mekong John is singin' all these stories
 "Be-bop-a-lula baby, what'd I say?"
Mekong John is singin' 'I got a woman
 Down in the tunnel, trying to make it pay'
Here come Johnny singing oldies, goldies
 "Be-Bop-A-Lula", "Baby What'd I Say"
Here come Johnny singing, "I Got a Woman"
Down in the tunnel, trying to make it pay
 
The boy campaign
The boy can play
 
The boy complained
The boy can play
 
The boy ker-plunk
The boy can play
 
To the Wonka bar
Do the walk of life
 
We got the action
We got the lotion
We got the action
We got the motion
 
We got the unction, we got the munction
 Yeah, the boy can play.
We got the action, we got the motion
 Yeah, the boy can play.
 
Willy Wonka and I
Do the walk of life
 
You're remarkable
Do the walk of life
 
"Your Latest Trick" (MP3) 
Between the satin bows and their bells
Between the satin beaus and their belles
 
"Your Latest Trick" (MP3) 
I don't know how it happened
 It all took place so quick
 But all I can do is hand it to you
 And your lips drip.
I don't know how it happened
 It all took place so quick
 But all I can do is hand it to you
 And your latest trick.