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Song Parodies -> "Country Club Of Tattered Greens"
Original Song Title:
"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"
Original Performer:
Greenday
Parody Song Title:
"Country Club Of Tattered Greens"
Parody Written by:
Jeff Reuben
The Lyrics
Start at the driving range
I only dream that I might get a par
Looks I get are strange
When I hook my shot and I hit a car
I step up to the tee
At the country club of tattered greens
Shot goes in the trees
And I can't find my ball, these weeds are tall
Had fifty balls
I lost them all
I lost them all
I lost them...
My driver's gone, stuck in the tree above me
My friends are laughing and now I am seething
Sometimes I wish that I'd stuck to Golden Tee
Can someone find my ball?
Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-u-u-ck,
Du-uck, Du-uck, Fo-re
Held up the group behind
Searching for the balls that I can't find
Had to take a dive
Swimming in the lake, can't find my ball
Why is she uptight?
The beer cart girl and I are gonna fight
Not a pretty sight
She gave me a black eye, and I took a fall
She had the gall
To kick my ball
I lost the brawl
I lost it...
My friends are gone they all say they don't know me
Stuck in the woods, covered with poison ivy
I grab a wedge so I can beat my caddy
I still can't find my ball
Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-u-u-ck,
Du-uck, Go-oose
I lost my ball
I lost it...
I really caused a scene
At the country club of tattered greens
Stuck on hole thirteen
And I don't have no balls cause I lost them...
That gopher took a rock and threw it at me
Between the eyes, a blow that sent me tumbling
Stuck in this ditch I hope someone will find me
But hey, I see my ball!
I only dream that I might get a par
Looks I get are strange
When I hook my shot and I hit a car
I step up to the tee
At the country club of tattered greens
Shot goes in the trees
And I can't find my ball, these weeds are tall
Had fifty balls
I lost them all
I lost them all
I lost them...
My driver's gone, stuck in the tree above me
My friends are laughing and now I am seething
Sometimes I wish that I'd stuck to Golden Tee
Can someone find my ball?
Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-u-u-ck,
Du-uck, Du-uck, Fo-re
Held up the group behind
Searching for the balls that I can't find
Had to take a dive
Swimming in the lake, can't find my ball
Why is she uptight?
The beer cart girl and I are gonna fight
Not a pretty sight
She gave me a black eye, and I took a fall
She had the gall
To kick my ball
I lost the brawl
I lost it...
My friends are gone they all say they don't know me
Stuck in the woods, covered with poison ivy
I grab a wedge so I can beat my caddy
I still can't find my ball
Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-uck, Du-u-u-ck,
Du-uck, Go-oose
I lost my ball
I lost it...
I really caused a scene
At the country club of tattered greens
Stuck on hole thirteen
And I don't have no balls cause I lost them...
That gopher took a rock and threw it at me
Between the eyes, a blow that sent me tumbling
Stuck in this ditch I hope someone will find me
But hey, I see my ball!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 41 | 41 | 41 |
User Comments
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I am dying! This is just hilarious! I don't know which I laughed harder at - the beer girl or the gopher.
I agree with Ash...this is BRILLIANT, Mr. Reuben! I loved it...and totally laughed out loud at several parts...=)
Nice job, Jeffaroo. I found this OS a tough one to parody, but you definitely scored a 5 with this. (Too bad it's a par three.)
Thanks Ash, Arwen, and Spaff! The OS was harder than I expected, I ended up working on this till midnight last night (even bought the CD). LOL on the par three line.
Jeff I love it! Especially the part about your friends leaving you! Keep em coming!
DKTOS, but very funny. You let the beer cart girl kick your butt? Then you really do have no balls. ;-)
ah, and I love a happy ending - can you get Adam Sandler to play you in the video - just for the beer-cart girl scene at least - 555
15 holes in one. Very good!
Thanks Oddy, Stu, JB, and LeeOShea!
I think I've played that course, too. Well done, Jeff. A lot of good lines including the Golden Tee line.
Stu, he'd be perfect for it, if he has recovered from his bout with Bob Barker. John, thanks!
Very excellent, Jeff. Don't forget to check your eyes and cross your tees. Fave bit:
She had the gall
To kick my ball
I lost the brawl
And the punchline
She had the gall
To kick my ball
I lost the brawl
And the punchline
(SOTM) DKTOS, but I like golf and golf parodies and this one seems to have some drive.
(SOTM) as officially the worst golfer in South London, this parody totally bunkered me. 555
Thanks Guy, Kristof, and 2nz.
(SOTM) I played golf once. Well, I hit like 3 balls at the driving range at Chelsea Peirs, anyway. 555.
(sotm) Incredible take on the OS, Jeff. Just marvelous.
(SOTM) Very well constructed and rhymed. Not at all sub-par.
(SOTM) Very funny!! I don't do golf, but this had so much going for it, that it took my mind off that fact. Loved all the side experiences...;) 5's
I was thinking of that Adam Sandler movie too! A hole in 555.
I like it even more now than I did a month ago. Many great touches. My fave line this go-round is "I grab a wedge so I can beat my caddy."
(SOTM) Try Putt-Putt, my son, 'tis surely more fun.
(SOTM) I played an entire course yesterday and only lost one ball, on 18. Boy I love miniature golf!
SOTM--still love it, Jeff. It would totally be my theme song at the golf course!
sotm - psst Jeff - about the gopher - I'll get the dynamite, you get the plunger
already commented, but sends up the OS perfectly
already commented, but sends up the OS perfectly
"Start at the driving range I only dream that I might get a par Looks I get are strange When I hook my shot and I hit a car!" Hilarious!
Dammit, Spaff singled out my fave line already. I gotta start getting to these things sooner. Excellent.
(SOTM) PARticularly PARfect PARdner!
One of the two best blah, blah... still good from what I can see. Better narrative feel than mine.
Jeff... You stole my last name you loser
Answer me, usurping mongrel
ABC What a good parody. It was funny, even though I don't follow golf! 5's
(ABC) What Johnny D said, back at The Nineteenth Hole.
First, one slight quibble: I'd like to have seen the rhyming in the first verse the same as TOS. Now then, this was a great effort, too many favorite lines, but the simple "goo-ose" was the the one that made me LOL. Best golf parody I've ever read. 5s
Red Ant...where did I miss? In the first verse, I had the first and third lines rhyming and the 2nd and 4th. In the OS, it's the same pattern:
I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone
Unless you wanted all four lines to rhyme, or keeping all four ending sounds with the long O? When writing, I took road/goes as different than known/alone. I'm fine with that if that's the case, just genuinely curious.
I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone
Unless you wanted all four lines to rhyme, or keeping all four ending sounds with the long O? When writing, I took road/goes as different than known/alone. I'm fine with that if that's the case, just genuinely curious.
Since most of the verses of the song end with assonant rhymes rather than perfect rhymes ("street/dreams/sleeps", "lines/alright/signs"), I assumed that the first verse would be taken as an assonant AAAA rhyming pattern (the long O you mentioned) rather than ABAB. I was looking for all 4 lines to rhyme to each other, not to TOS, though if they do both it's generally a plus in my book.
I can see the logic behind your choice though, and it's not wrong by any means. And it's still an excellent parody. =)
I can see the logic behind your choice though, and it's not wrong by any means. And it's still an excellent parody. =)
Thanks Red Ant, and thanks for the comment. I didn't take in a negative way at all, more as "constructive criticism" which is very much appreciated.
ABC3C - Ah, here's the reason I like these rounds! I've never seen this one before and, it's a hoot. Brilliant work, Jeff, fits the OS to a tee, if you'll pardon the expression.
ABC3C - yes, this one is a classic, Jeff, and this time I got a big smile out of "She had the gall - To kick my ball" - lol
I think you lost more than your ball when you wrote this one.... Still a song this good deserves fives without any FOREplay....
(ABC3) You hit an Eagle! How did I miss this one? It's worth noting that yours is one of the few BoBD parodies that attempts to change every line....very good.
(ABC3 C) Very chuckleworthy, Jeff.
Great work! Love the OS and you did a great job telling the story of my golf game haha! 555 more strokes for you!
This is a Jeff Reuben classic! I remember reading this one way, way, way back in the day (it was probably one of the first I've ever read by you!). This one still packs a wallop though. Hilarious stuff, still after all this time!
(Artistry) My score card reads 555!
(Artistry) Wow, this is 6 1/2 years old? It certainly stands the test of time. Great work, everybody already said what I was gonna say. See you on the 19th hole!
(Artistry) Holy bollocks, 2005? That's old-skool, man, and I mean that in a good way. This one definitely stands the test of time, a great parody full of character. 555 spare balls!
Jeff, this one is a classic--you know that, what can I possibly say?
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