I’m sick of dogs --
And their mailman attacks
I need them to --
Mellow out and relax
So I carry around --
Little cannabis snacks...

I fed one to the collie
And she’s no longer growly
I fed one to the pug
And he gave me a hug
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

I fed one to the pit bull
And he said brother it’s cool
I fed one to the mutt
He kept licking his butt
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

Hooked up the bichon
He said love and peace mon
I fed one to the beagle
He said it should be legal
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

Hooked up the afghan
And he said he’s Batman
Hooked up the dalmation
She took up meditation
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

I doped the chihuahua
And she voted for Obama
So I gave her another’n
She voted McGovern
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

I fed one to the westie
His eloquence impressed me
Hooked up the pekapoo
And she got a cheap tattoo
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

I fed one to the shih tzu
And he studied ju jitsu
And that bolognese named Guido
Was jonesing for Doritos
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

I fed one to the schnauzer
And she said it aroused her
I fed one to the chow chow
And he said hail Mao now
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned

Encountered a poodle,
Last house of the day
Ran out of treats,
I am sorry to say
Picked up some rocks
And I fired away
Your dog was cross, but now it’s stoned