It was obvious that he was snockered
As strolling through the park was he
A fellow bewigged and be-knockered
And devoid of dignity.

(Two three four, tell the people what he wore)!

He wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny skimpy strip-ed string bikini
On shoes with four inch spike heels sashayed
An itsy bitsy teeny weeny skimpy strip-ed string bikini
Caused the sheriff to haul him away.

Straight to the jail he was taken
Where on a bible he swore
He was gonna compete down in Dayton
In a drag show for prizes galore.

(Three four five, one look at him you'd know that's jive)

Wearing an itsy bitsy teeny weeny skimpy strip-ed string bikini
With his pot belly fully displayed
His itsy bitsy teeny weeny skimpy strip-ed string bikini
Very likely would not make the grade.

I'm afraid his career's in hot water
And I wonder what he's gonna do.
If town council says they hadn't oughter
Let him back on the fire crew.

(Six seven eight, will they vote to reinstate?)

A man whose itsy bitsy teeny weeny skimpy strip-ed string bikini
That caused onlookers undue dismay.
His itsy bitsy teeny weeny skimpy strip-ed string bikini
A sight that will haunt some to their dying day.

He got tanked up then he dressed up
His femi-nine side explored.
And therefore he was locked up.
Guess he won't do that no more!