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Song Parodies -> "These Are The Truths We Turret's Guys Must Sing"
Original Song Title:
"These Are A Few of My Favorite Things"
Original Performer:
Sound of Music
Parody Song Title:
"These Are The Truths We Turret's Guys Must Sing"
Parody Written by:
TJC
The Lyrics
Famous for their explosive expletives, Turret's suffers occasionally have moments of erie clarity (or not!)...
Mad cow pate on expired Ritz crackers
Festering phlegm from tuberculous hackers
Cheap rapper jewelry passed off as 'bling'
These are the truths we Tur-ret's guys must sing
Half-octave nose flutes impacted with greenies
Petrol with olives in lieu of martinis
Two-timing she-males who hide wedding rings
These are the truths we Turret's guys must sing
~ bridge ~
When that voyeur
In my foyer
Stopped to take a pee
I barked in his general direction and then
Whoops! It's just mirrored me!
Haggis on hagfish with scrofulous sauces
World Com execs still denying their losses
Flatulent geezers whose wet ones will cling
These are the truths we Turret's guys must sing
Scaborous scarfers of people's pet poodles
And those who actually like schnitzel with noodles
Exudates weeping from under arm things
These are the truths we Turret's guys must sing
~ musical interlude ~
Used crack-head condom's coagulum slurry
Shadow-of-doubters on O.J.'s first jury
Leprous molesters on Philippine flings
These are the truths we Turret's guys must bring
~ bridge ~
When your illness
Precludes stillness
Your voice MUST take wing
Stentorian storming, your audience warming
They might dig Turret's
Baaaa-Ding!
Festering phlegm from tuberculous hackers
Cheap rapper jewelry passed off as 'bling'
These are the truths we Tur-ret's guys must sing
Half-octave nose flutes impacted with greenies
Petrol with olives in lieu of martinis
Two-timing she-males who hide wedding rings
These are the truths we Turret's guys must sing
~ bridge ~
When that voyeur
In my foyer
Stopped to take a pee
I barked in his general direction and then
Whoops! It's just mirrored me!
Haggis on hagfish with scrofulous sauces
World Com execs still denying their losses
Flatulent geezers whose wet ones will cling
These are the truths we Turret's guys must sing
Scaborous scarfers of people's pet poodles
And those who actually like schnitzel with noodles
Exudates weeping from under arm things
These are the truths we Turret's guys must sing
~ musical interlude ~
Used crack-head condom's coagulum slurry
Shadow-of-doubters on O.J.'s first jury
Leprous molesters on Philippine flings
These are the truths we Turret's guys must bring
~ bridge ~
When your illness
Precludes stillness
Your voice MUST take wing
Stentorian storming, your audience warming
They might dig Turret's
Baaaa-Ding!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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I like yesterday's better. :-) A few pacing problems...didn't affect a whole lot, but it was *almost* offensive to me because I have family with Tourette's. Very well written, though. 4-4-5
Kindly excuse me for #&!°‰€ø*Ü asking sir, but do you by any #&!°‰€ø*Ü chance mean Tourette´s
[MODE SHAMLESS PLUG]http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/roxette0.shtml
[MODE SHAMLESS PLUG]http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/roxette0.shtml
There's some lovely lines in this one ("Petrol with olives in lieu of martinis" is outstanding, even if not exactly anything to do with Tourette's)... but you beat me to the "Tourette's", k1chyd (and I don't think I've got that character set loaded).
Emi, Know 1 & Phil – You’re all right of course! I guess I was thinking of Turret de France… and all the non-sequeters.. just a poor concept in general…Know 1… I enjoyed your version much more… I agree wholeheartedly with your comments introducing that June ’03 parody “Writing parodies is hard. Telling little stories within them is even harder. But I keep trying… :-)” Well, I won’t try to crank anymore out in less than a day or so egregiously neglect the importance of story element you mentioned…thanks!
This really tics me off. 5s. Good wordplay.
I too had some problems with the overall concept but the great rhyming and lines like the schnitzel one helped me get over it. Very good, fives.
Not bad! But what are they doing in Lake Erie? ;-D
This is OK, TJC, some nice wordplay...444
The misspelling of Tourette's makes me wonder about a few of the other words you used, but I'm too lazy now to look them up. Besides, this was well written and funny! 5-5-5!
About spelling etc, I learned just the other day that there´s now a combined dictionary/thesaurus feature at Google. Just write (for example) "define: turret".
Haven´t decided if it´s better than Babylon or Dictionary yet, but since Google is one of those one almost always keep open in separate window (or is that just me) it seems to be a prett handy function.
Haven´t decided if it´s better than Babylon or Dictionary yet, but since Google is one of those one almost always keep open in separate window (or is that just me) it seems to be a prett handy function.
Pate? Hmmmm... This guy is having a party, and he's about to serve the appetizers. Suddenly, the crabmeat speaks to him. "How am I?" it asks. The guy says, "Pretty good." And the pate says, "He's pretty good? What am I, chopped liver?"
5's for the vocabulary alone. Good job.
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