Chewin’ tobacco in a saloon,
spewing sputum into a spittoon.

Sometimes I miss, my aim could be much better;
these spit mishaps are making the floor wetter.
Some say the taste ain’t heavenly when one is
chewin‘—mouth is crowded with brown goo.
Ruins your smile when you make a moue.

But if you’re gonna chew, chew carefully—
keep it in your mouth, not in your tummy.
It’s meant for mastication, not to eat, so
chew it and deposit in spittoon.
Leakage to your stomach will mean doom…
down should not go.

I’m feeling dumber on one bummer day—
it’s a horrible gaffe that comes my way:
The wad goes down my throat causing dismay,
sliding to my tummy and I’m feeling crummy
from chewin’; it’s the pastime of a goon.
Spewin am I now in the restroom.
Oh, it’s so gross.

Spewin’ chunks of the stuff.