I’ve got so many kids it makes me want to quiver
Too many jam-eaters are drifting in for tea
So many debts it isn’t very nice
The things we do for love
(The things we do for love…)

I think castration is a problem not the answer
The Doctor’s number is in me hand, I’m on the phone
I haven’t turned, it’s me operation gown,
The things we do for love
(The things we do for love…)

I’m walking like John Wayne and I’m slow
And there’s nowhere to go
I can tell, there’s a part of me that’s dying
And the swellings bringing tears to me eyes
I think we’re gonna break up
Don’t bother with your make-up…..
Ooooh you made me love you
Ooooh I did obey
Ooooh you’ve got me crawling, it’s me ball!

I’m walking like John Wayne and I’m slow
But there’s nowhere to go
I can tell, there’s a part of me that’s dying
And the swellings bringing tears to me eyes
I think we’re gonna break up
Don’t bother with your make-up
Ooooh you made me love you
Ooooh I did obey
Ooooh you’ve got me crawling, it’s me ball!

Vasectomy has surely helped the situation
I cannot disagree, but it’s tearing me apart
But after this I’m gonna fire blanks
The things we do for love
(The things we do for love…)