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Song Parodies -> "Don't Tight-Hole Me, Angelina"
Original Song Title:
"Don't Cry For Me, Argentina"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice
Parody Song Title:
"Don't Tight-Hole Me, Angelina"
Parody Written by:
Spaff.com
The Lyrics
Stuart McArthur's Brangelina: An Amiright Musical
I'm not that easy
I'm not THAT strange
Though I dumped Jen for you, Ms. Jolie
I did not quite expect - I'd end up in these binds
Though I did Fight Club
That was an act - getting smacked black and blue
But YOU'RE mistressed up to the nines
In six-inch or seven-inch boots
I fear what's gonna happen
Here in this cage
There's a pit in the Pitt of my ME
Babe you're out of this world but - are you out of your mind?!
Though I told Newsweek
That I enjoy - this liaison with you
And I could be tied down again...
I never expected you to!
Don't back-door me, Angelina
The truth is I'd never let you
Though you've got bullwhips
And cuffs that snap on
I've used my safe word
Don't use your strap-on
And as for torture
And as for pain
I've never been thrilled with that stuff
Though you swore you would put - color back in my cheeks
They are contusions!
I might need transfusions - do you stock Type B?
I promise I'm vir-ile enough
Please don't put more MAN into me!
Don't back-door me, Angelina...
Don't tight-hole me, Angelina
The truth is I can't prevent you
Though you like large toys
And always pack one
I'll use my last wish:
Don't use the black one
Have I begged too much?
I'll shut my yap if it means I'll be spared by you
But all I have to do - is hear that buzz
To know what Billy Bob went through
Don't call me James, Angelina
I'm not THAT strange
Though I dumped Jen for you, Ms. Jolie
I did not quite expect - I'd end up in these binds
Though I did Fight Club
That was an act - getting smacked black and blue
But YOU'RE mistressed up to the nines
In six-inch or seven-inch boots
I fear what's gonna happen
Here in this cage
There's a pit in the Pitt of my ME
Babe you're out of this world but - are you out of your mind?!
Though I told Newsweek
That I enjoy - this liaison with you
And I could be tied down again...
I never expected you to!
Don't back-door me, Angelina
The truth is I'd never let you
Though you've got bullwhips
And cuffs that snap on
I've used my safe word
Don't use your strap-on
And as for torture
And as for pain
I've never been thrilled with that stuff
Though you swore you would put - color back in my cheeks
They are contusions!
I might need transfusions - do you stock Type B?
I promise I'm vir-ile enough
Please don't put more MAN into me!
Don't back-door me, Angelina...
Don't tight-hole me, Angelina
The truth is I can't prevent you
Though you like large toys
And always pack one
I'll use my last wish:
Don't use the black one
Have I begged too much?
I'll shut my yap if it means I'll be spared by you
But all I have to do - is hear that buzz
To know what Billy Bob went through
Don't call me James, Angelina
(c) 2006+ Spaffita!
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| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
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Well, of course. Heh. And heh. And even heh-heh. And don't forget the fives.
Best yet. 5-5-5
Brilliant as usual, Spaff. Though I have to admit, I don't get the last line about "Don't call me James"...explanation please? Or would you have to go on Whatfreaks to do that?
OMFG, oh so funny, brilliant. 555
absolutely brilliant, Spaff - ingeniusest parts: the six-inch/seven-inch sub, the torture/pain subs for fortune/fame, "don't put more MAN into me" and about a dozen runners-up - amazing - how do you always get to this other level? - 555
this fits well
Better than all the other parodies made for this song,555 (I can only imagine how it would sound if it was recorded, lol)
The "snap on", "strap-on" rhyme was brilliant as was the line "There's a pit in the Pitt of my ME"
Dammit, Spaff! I'm not supposed to laugh this hard while I'm at work. Nor am I, (a sweet and innocent lady) supposed to "get" stuff like this. I feel all dirty now. And I'm still giggling. Bastard.
Seriously funny stuff! Glad you finally finished it. I remember seeing your comment on mine when it posted (as well as Arwen's comment and, your comment on that). What Stu said above too! 555
And just how do you know all this about Brad & Angie, hmmmmmmm.....???
I'm glad I didn't give up laughing for Lent. Excellent humor here with Pitt/pit, tied down, do you stock type B, and on and on.
Oh damn, this is great. I don't kow enough about Angelina to get the James reference either, but aside from that I don't have a favorite line (=TMGLTM). 555
Johnny: With a nickname like "Johnny BD," I knew that this one would be right up your alley. (No euphemism intended.)
Johnglebarry & Joel M: That's a dubious honor. But, as one of my college professors said, all honors are dubious.
Step-child: TYVM.
s2art: Slings and pulleys.
e.e. rhodes: Heh heh!
St Matthias: I'm glad the research paid off.
Sis. Evenstar: Wow, you're right - you DO feel dirty.
Rick the Cornier: I'm sure that Angelina would want to thank you personally for inspiring this flood of tributes. Assume the position.
Wrecks: Not to start any rumors or anything, but they're planning to adopt me.
Johnkins: I'm giving up Lent.
Cat & Red: That last line is such a sick joke that I almost left it out. I think we'd all be better off if I didn't explain it.
Johnglebarry & Joel M: That's a dubious honor. But, as one of my college professors said, all honors are dubious.
Step-child: TYVM.
s2art: Slings and pulleys.
e.e. rhodes: Heh heh!
St Matthias: I'm glad the research paid off.
Sis. Evenstar: Wow, you're right - you DO feel dirty.
Rick the Cornier: I'm sure that Angelina would want to thank you personally for inspiring this flood of tributes. Assume the position.
Wrecks: Not to start any rumors or anything, but they're planning to adopt me.
Johnkins: I'm giving up Lent.
Cat & Red: That last line is such a sick joke that I almost left it out. I think we'd all be better off if I didn't explain it.
Could it be something to do with Philadelphia cheese? Eh? Eh?
Once I know the OS a little better I'll come back to give this gem the indepth probing it requires to truly appreciate.
Once I know the OS a little better I'll come back to give this gem the indepth probing it requires to truly appreciate.
Very interesting, disturbingly funny.
Another reason why Spaff is teh awesomeness 555!!!
Thanx, Hairy Lensley & Local Celebrity!
Ralphing Brat: Philadelphia Cream Cheese? Hmm... no... but that idea certainly has possibilities (depending on where you, um, spread it).
Ralphing Brat: Philadelphia Cream Cheese? Hmm... no... but that idea certainly has possibilities (depending on where you, um, spread it).
Isnt James like her brother that she..ummm....LOL ok I kinda get it now LOL
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