Song Parodies -> "Fully Cognisant Of Interplanetary Graft"

Original Song Title:

"Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Fully Cognisant Of Interplanetary Graft"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Tagline: Pluto has long been aware of its tenuous relationship with the other planets. One day in 2016, what seems like a routine communique from the IAU (International Astronomical Union) confirms their suspicions that there has been skulduggery occurring behind the scenes, in a galaxy far, far away…

(In 2016, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) downgraded the status of Pluto to that of a dwarf planet because it did not meet the three criteria the IAU uses to define a full-sized planet. Essentially Pluto meets all the criteria except one—it “has not cleared its neighbouring region of other objects.”).

Original song on YouTube - this is a longer version of the song, shorter versions are missing some words.

(Spoken:) Pluto ‘stronomy!

(Pluto:) Alright, you’ve connected to Pluto ‘stronomy, and it’s two-thirty-two minus at thirteen minutes past the hour, and right now on our Earth dial-up link, I’ve got Mike (from) IAU on the line. Hey babe, what are things like down there?

(Earth:) We’ve been observing from earth...

(Pluto:) Hey babe, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you too well, you’re gonna have to speak a little clearer and work on your tone, okay babe. What are things like down there again?

(Earth:) We’ve been observing from earth...

(Pluto:) Hey Mike, I’m sorry babe, but that’s NOT sounding friendly, though you have a lovely singing voice over the phone. Anyway, if you’re giving us your best, we’ll be glad to take it from you babe, so LET’S hear it.

(Earth:) We’ve been observing from earth...

(Pluto:) Ah listen Mike, I’m sorry babe, but we can’t...

(Earth:) And we’ll strike to break

(Pluto:) I’m sorry Mike, gee whiz...

(Earth:) Our contract

(Pluto:) Oh fu...

(Earth:) With you. Pluty...

(Pluto sings:) Over time you had mendacity which showed
Incurred our wrath, message: exclude from planet zone
This blows, you shyster reprobates
The very thought, it stinks
Of our forced cancellation – fairness? Pain in ring...

Fully cognisant of interplanetary graft
Fully cognisant of interplanetary most extraordinary graft

Fully cognisant of interplanetary graft
Fully cognisant of ultra-cautionary graft
Fully cognisant of interplanetary, out-manoeuvred-ary graft

(Earth sings:) You're un-deserving, says Earth
And we’ll strike to break our contract with you

(Pluto:) We were your friends...

Fully cognisant of interplanetary graft
Fully cognisant of interplanetary dodgy emissaries

(Earth:) We've been assessing your worth
And that’s right, we’ve tak-en umbrage with you

We must un-friend...

(Pluto:) Fully cognisant of interplanetary, e-lite planetary graft

(Pluto:) And please un-impeach, we beseech you
(Earth:) No! This dis-banding will teach you!
(Pluto:) Your earth may never survive...
(Earth:) So what’s that? A threat, crude?
(Pluto:) Please, tell us why we’ve been fleeced, man
Oh, feel maligned by design
Leave us aligned, let us be, dudes, oh gawd!

(Earth:) In our minds, your inability to form
Clear orbit from your neighbours, deemed “under-performed”
You’re not full sized. Degenerates!
Un-membered! On your way!
We send our blessing
And declare ninth planet: “Nay”...

(Pluto:) Fully cognisant of interplanetary graft
Fully cognisant of sudden, arbitrary graft
Fully cognisant of most un-necessary, anti-Pluto-ary graft

Fully cognisant
Fully cognisant
Call it dodgy-ness, this interplanetary, most exclusionary crap...

(Pluto:) We were once friends...

Bloody IAU. Have they never heard of the concept of a 'Grandfather Clause'? Frikkin' poindexters. Signed, Pluto. P.S. We'll Be BACK!!!

Thanks, ChuckyG, for over 20 years of great fun, and providing parody writers a common outlet for their work!

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