Song Parodies -> "Hai-Karate"

Original Song Title:

"My Sharona"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Hai-Karate"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

This parody is based on a true story, said story being that of an ex-boyfriend who had exceptionally bad taste in personal fragrance. His name was/is not Renato, I just added that for the sake of pacing. His Hai-Karate (an aftershave solution distributed ad nauseum by Avon in the 1960s and 1970s, often in bottles resembling antique cars, oversized tobacco pipes, gavels or other items that Avon Ladies of yore identified with men) came in a green bottle resembling a Volkswagen Beetle, hence the green bug and Volkswagen references.

Ooh, the green and stinky bug, stinky bug
When you gonna throw out that Hai-Karate?
Ooh, it makes me wanna puke, me wanna puke
Flush it down the john, that Hai-Karate
He will never stop, use it all, such a horrid smell
Gotta pour it out or you’re gonna go to h*ll
My my my ai-yai woo!

Hai-yai-yai-yai-yai-YAI-Karate!

Smells a little better now, the Jovan Musk
Good enough to wear on a date, Renato?
Keep the Volkswagen closed, really works
For holdin’ back the stench of that Hai-Karate
He will never stop, use it all, such a horrid smell
Gotta pour it out or you’re gonna go to h*ll
My my my ai-yai woo!

Hai-yai-yai-yai-yai-YAI-Karate!

When you gonna give it away, give it away?
Is it just a matter of time, Renato?
It really stinks, like bad cologne
Nixon-era aftershave, that stuff is
He will never stop, use it all, such a horrid smell
Gotta pour it out or you’re gonna go to h*ll
My my my ai-yai woo!

Throw out the Hai-Karate!
Throw out the Hai-Karate!
(fade to end)

I do not own the names "Avon", "Volkswagen" and "Hai-Karate".

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AFW - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Very humorous telling of a smelling...I agree..too much of a cheap cologne is worse than BO....

Fiddlegirl - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

A little of that Avon stuff goes a l-o-o-o-o-ng way. Unfortunately, generally not long enough.

Mark Scotti - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Very funny and well written, Andria. Went very well with the OS!

Andria - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, AFW... the only thing worse than cheap cologne on a person is excrement IMHO, and your v/c are always appreciated, thanks Fiddlegirl, I tend to keep my distance from the Avon bottles at flea markets and from people with excessive fragrance, and thanks Mark, you're always appreciated.

Jason - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Great job! I echo the comments above.

Guy - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Sorry to hear about your SMELTdown. The nose knows and its votin' no's.

This tends to lend a whole new meaining to the term "hogwash". That's when you don't have time to bathe and you freshen up with Hai Karate. Just smell them 5s.

Christie Marie M - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Allow me to return the favor, Andria! Great to see you writing again! As for Hai-Karate, in that case '"she who smelt it, dealt it!". I saw those classic commercials for that cologne on YouTube and boy, were they hilarious! The guys in our family never wore Hai, thank God! I was about to work as an Avon lady, but no one where I live buys their cosmetics, so I declined. Anyways, splash on some 5's!!

John Barry - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Sounds like Renato's odor was marred from Avon. Smells like 5s.

TJC - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Hai Fives!

Andy Primus - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Funny parody - great OS - I remember how bad it stinks (about as bad as Brut or Old Spice)

Andria - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks Jason, you're always appreciated, thanks Guy, lol, Christie Marie, thanks for your vote, comment and story, thanks John, yes it was and yes it does, thanks TJC, and thanks Andy... actually, Old Spice smells better IMHO.

Old Man Ribber - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Hai-Karate...along with Mace the fragrance of the Sixties! 5-5-5 for the retro-trip ;D

Andria - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks for v/c, OMR... maybe clove cigarettes, napalm and marijuana could be added to those two

TT - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

I remember that junk -- what a stupid ad. Did they not know that karate-chopping your date to get some was illegal? (d'oh)

Nice disclaimer. Now, the easy way: After each brand name, type the & sign with no space after the word, then (no space) trade with a semicolon after it. Like this:
Volkswagen& trade ; but without any spaces, so it comes out
Volkswagen™
You're welcome.

Timmy1000 - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Boy, there's a memory cell coming back - great write on a stupidly named product. I guess they wanted you to use it and smell like a black belt.

Andria - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, TT... you're always appreciated around here, or at least I think so, and I'll remember your tip on trademark symbols, and thanks for v/c, Timmy1000. To both of you, I'll have to look up the old ads on Youtube.

alvin - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment

i remember that horrid stuff...wonderfully bouncy and fun parody

Andria - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Alvin... it is indeed horrid.

Andria - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment

I just realized I wrote the parody about the wrong cologne: Hai Karate was a product of a Pfizer subsidiary, and what I remember (Wild Country) was Avon, and ____'s cologne came in a shaped bottle, meaning it was Avon. Regardless, they all stink (cheap colognes and my ex alike), but I'm glad this parody was so well-liked.

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