Everytime I'm in a store, I always find my eyes
glancing at the mags that are embarassing to buy
So, I look...at food
pens, and...bug spray
I wait...hope soon
this crowd...will fade

'Cause 'Young Lesbians'...I want it
'Nude Celebrities'...I want it
'Over 40 Moms'...I want it
Finally...

The clerk looks disgusted when she sees what I'm purchasin'
I babble like a fool, and say that they're for a friend
I say (I say)...he's shy (he's shy)
won't buy (won't buy)...them himself (himself)
So, he begged (he begged)....I gave in (gave in)
but I don't (I don't)...like 'em myself (myself)

But I don't think that she...she bought it
cash and dignity...I've lost 'em
but it don't matter now...I got 'em
my precious...

Porn is what I want (I got it)
Porn is what I need (I got it)
I just love it all

I'm glad...those little...cards come...inside
that's such...a good deal...I will...subscribe

'Cause a home P.O box...I got it
they come in unmarked bags...that's awesome
In 4 to 6 weeks, it will...get started
Oh, baby!

Porn is all I want (I got it)
Or does it got me? (I've lost it)
All reality's gone (I'm haunted)
Crazy...

I spend all my time (and money)
A sick...ness
I got it!