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Song Parodies -> "Crappy First Date"
Original Song Title:
"Happy Birthday"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Weird Al Yankovic
Parody Song Title:
"Crappy First Date"
Parody Written by:
Matthias
The Lyrics
This one is for Peter Anderson's One Week Notice challenge (Week 40) this time hosted once again by Matthias! This is a special edition version of One Week Notice that I created to celebrate my own Birthday!
Crappy first date
Crappy first date with you!
Shabby first date
Shabby first date was doomed!
Took this dime piece on a first date
She had a sexy rear
Tryst was akin to Benghazi
I couldn't stand her sneer
She gave me wood, I'm horny
Whilst starring at her seat
That's when a seagull spread it's legs
And plopped right on my feet
Once made her cute eyes flutter
Till I went and split my drawers
Could tell that she was smitten
Till my tie caught in the door
She sees that I'm a plodder
Got strangled with my tie
This babe will strike the gong
Because her panties stayed dry
Batty first date
Batty first date sure blew!
Bratty first date
Bratty first date, Won't screw!
Well, What's the matter girlfriend
Think your Romeo's a dip?
Fell face first in the trash can
Since on a spill I tripped
So clumsy in this restaurant
Like I'm drunk on Grey Goose
This chick's cute as a button
But now she wants to vamoose!
It doesn't take a professional romanticist to see
Her shy and timid titters
Turned into high-pitched screams
Our rendezvous will end soon
This babe won't be my bride
"Matt was such a big dunce, Think he drinks Tide!"
(I annoyed that girl, Flings aren't a-okay!)
Crazy first date
Crazy first date's unglued
Shaky first date
Shaky first date, She'll sue!
Wow!
[Accordian Solo]
Smell like a skunk and I'm dripping
Since I exploded my Sprite
Dropped her salad on her hooters
I'm far from her shining knight
She's a goddess in stilettos
And I burned my crotch with beans
It seems everything I do today's appalling to my queen
Our courtship should bring mirth
Filled with flirtation and fun
But she swears that I'm a demon
With her taser I got stunned
If you don't think she's crazy
To turn down this hot beefcake
Then here have her number
And pray your legs don't break
Crabby first date
Crabby first date was rude!
Tacky first date
Tacky first date's taboo! Whoa!!!!
Catty first date
Catty first date's voodoo!
Ratty first date
Ratty first date's cuckoo!
(CRAPPY FIRST DATE!!!!)
I'm a klutz who's into buttz!!!!!
Crappy first date with you!
Shabby first date
Shabby first date was doomed!
Took this dime piece on a first date
She had a sexy rear
Tryst was akin to Benghazi
I couldn't stand her sneer
She gave me wood, I'm horny
Whilst starring at her seat
That's when a seagull spread it's legs
And plopped right on my feet
Once made her cute eyes flutter
Till I went and split my drawers
Could tell that she was smitten
Till my tie caught in the door
She sees that I'm a plodder
Got strangled with my tie
This babe will strike the gong
Because her panties stayed dry
Batty first date
Batty first date sure blew!
Bratty first date
Bratty first date, Won't screw!
Well, What's the matter girlfriend
Think your Romeo's a dip?
Fell face first in the trash can
Since on a spill I tripped
So clumsy in this restaurant
Like I'm drunk on Grey Goose
This chick's cute as a button
But now she wants to vamoose!
It doesn't take a professional romanticist to see
Her shy and timid titters
Turned into high-pitched screams
Our rendezvous will end soon
This babe won't be my bride
"Matt was such a big dunce, Think he drinks Tide!"
(I annoyed that girl, Flings aren't a-okay!)
Crazy first date
Crazy first date's unglued
Shaky first date
Shaky first date, She'll sue!
Wow!
[Accordian Solo]
Smell like a skunk and I'm dripping
Since I exploded my Sprite
Dropped her salad on her hooters
I'm far from her shining knight
She's a goddess in stilettos
And I burned my crotch with beans
It seems everything I do today's appalling to my queen
Our courtship should bring mirth
Filled with flirtation and fun
But she swears that I'm a demon
With her taser I got stunned
If you don't think she's crazy
To turn down this hot beefcake
Then here have her number
And pray your legs don't break
Crabby first date
Crabby first date was rude!
Tacky first date
Tacky first date's taboo! Whoa!!!!
Catty first date
Catty first date's voodoo!
Ratty first date
Ratty first date's cuckoo!
(CRAPPY FIRST DATE!!!!)
I'm a klutz who's into buttz!!!!!
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Oddly weird, but my friend, I have a few issues here. Pacing was really off by at least a beat throughout a lot of this. Was this all happening on THIS first date, or is a compilation of first dates? Sometimes it felt like recounting of first dates for a lot of people, yet one line directly says this was "Matt." Lastly, I can't tell if I should feel sympathy for this narrator (or narrators?). Sometimes it sounds like he's blaming himself, other times he seems to blame the girl (and I found it just a little crude when he complains that she won't put out). So, in review, uneven work from a parody master, but I am giving you a belated gift of 555, and a hope for many more (birthdays). :)
Thank you for your honest review Agrimorfee. I was going for an over the top, everything that could go wrong did go wrong kind of date. I did go a bit crude in here because I wanted the audience to side with the victim, the girl being forced to go on a date with this prick. I didn’t think that the pacing was off but perhaps it was... I usually have more time to double check and triple check my work but it was a busy week but you’re not supposed to sympathize with this guy at all. He’s a crude, clumsy clodhopper and there’s a reason why this guy doesn’t get many dates.
Been there, done that, am really glad that Swedish women can't sue the guy for a crappy first date.
Can they really do that in the US? Or did you make that up for the parody? Seeing Agri left that out I have to conclude that yes, they can! Oh, the horror!
Can they really do that in the US? Or did you make that up for the parody? Seeing Agri left that out I have to conclude that yes, they can! Oh, the horror!
I made it up for the parody but I think that it might be possible depending on how bad the date was ALSO they are really particular about sexual harassment in America so I'm pretty sure getting sued for a bad date is HIGHLY possible.
I'm making a mental note about "date in court" being a possible future parody subject!
"She gave me wood": Shouldn't that be the other way around? :) I should take a screen shot, the security code is SEX lmao
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