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Song Parodies -> "I Got Crabs from Darth Vader"
Original Song Title:
"Friends in Low Places"
Original Performer:
Garth Brooks
Parody Song Title:
"I Got Crabs from Darth Vader"
Parody Written by:
Spaff.com
The Lyrics
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good Robert Lund recording, kid.
Blame it all on Artoo
Said the girl from Naboo
'Cause I followed him into that bar
A couple of drinks
And soon Jar Jar Binks
Was the best thing 'bout Star Wars so far
I had blue milk and Jack
With this guy dressed in black
He was strong, dark, and seven-foot-three
But when - I went home with
The Lord of the Sith
That's not all that went home with meeeee!
'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader
When he took me back - to his star freighter
And used the Force
On me, of course
Buuuut NOW I itch like a Tusken Raider
Shoulda NEV-er played - with his LIGHT SABER!
Oh, I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
[Cantina band solo]
She said - I got a butt
Like Jabba the Hutt
But Darth said he'd love to clone me
He's not bad at nookie -
He roared like a Wookiee
Through episodes one, two, and three-ee
But at double-sunrise
He grabbed his disguise
And dumped me in Tatooine's sand
Hope the freak went to bake
In that big lava lake
That's my last one-Jedi-Knight staaand!
'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader
When I got too close - to that dic-tator
He said - I'll get you
And Lei-ya too
Aaaaah LOVE that sound - from his res-pirator
But NOW I need - an exTERMINATOR!
'Cause I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
[All the freaks in Mos Eisley sing along:]
I got crabs from Darth Vader
When he took me back - to his star freighter
And used the Force
On me, of course
But NOW I itch like a Tusken Raider
Shoulda NEV-er played - with his LIGHT SABER!
Oh, I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
I got crabs from Darth Vader
You don't see that part - in the thee-ayter
They spin it clean
PG-13
But I won't trust - no Caped Crusader
Gonna TRADE Artoo - for a VI-BRATOR!
'Cause I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
[Repeat/Fade]
[Or explode in a spectacular ball of light]
Said the girl from Naboo
'Cause I followed him into that bar
A couple of drinks
And soon Jar Jar Binks
Was the best thing 'bout Star Wars so far
I had blue milk and Jack
With this guy dressed in black
He was strong, dark, and seven-foot-three
But when - I went home with
The Lord of the Sith
That's not all that went home with meeeee!
'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader
When he took me back - to his star freighter
And used the Force
On me, of course
Buuuut NOW I itch like a Tusken Raider
Shoulda NEV-er played - with his LIGHT SABER!
Oh, I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
[Cantina band solo]
She said - I got a butt
Like Jabba the Hutt
But Darth said he'd love to clone me
He's not bad at nookie -
He roared like a Wookiee
Through episodes one, two, and three-ee
But at double-sunrise
He grabbed his disguise
And dumped me in Tatooine's sand
Hope the freak went to bake
In that big lava lake
That's my last one-Jedi-Knight staaand!
'Cause I got crabs from Darth Vader
When I got too close - to that dic-tator
He said - I'll get you
And Lei-ya too
Aaaaah LOVE that sound - from his res-pirator
But NOW I need - an exTERMINATOR!
'Cause I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
[All the freaks in Mos Eisley sing along:]
I got crabs from Darth Vader
When he took me back - to his star freighter
And used the Force
On me, of course
But NOW I itch like a Tusken Raider
Shoulda NEV-er played - with his LIGHT SABER!
Oh, I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
I got crabs from Darth Vader
You don't see that part - in the thee-ayter
They spin it clean
PG-13
But I won't trust - no Caped Crusader
Gonna TRADE Artoo - for a VI-BRATOR!
'Cause I got crabs
From Darth Vader!
[Repeat/Fade]
[Or explode in a spectacular ball of light]
(c) 2005+ May the Spaff be with you
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 5 | 6 | 6 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 8 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 10 | 4 | 8 | ||||||||
| 5 | 70 | 81 | 78 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I notice as I am the 3rd person to visit...that I wasn't the only speechless one...=) But you all know me too well to think that I'd let a little thing like a lack of cleverness keep me from leaving a pointless and lame comment...hehehe. ; )
Great job, here...far too many great lines to pick just one...but in a non lyrical sense, "[All the freaks in Mos Eisley sing along:]" made me LOL!!
Great job, here...far too many great lines to pick just one...but in a non lyrical sense, "[All the freaks in Mos Eisley sing along:]" made me LOL!!
Must say that listening to the recording is much better than reading the text. Although a few puns would be lost if you only listen. Wonder which one is the dark side... 5's
my favorite of the day...this is GREAT
Say, you're pretty good. http://www.clamhead.com/drdrequest.php
Of the great Spaff collection, this is one of my favorites, if not THE best!
You're not missing an extra chorus at the end, are you? =)
DKTOS, but I had to turn it off after Lund sang one too many innuendos. ;-)
Yoda: Mmm...Strong with the force you are. Great parody master you will become. Jar Jar Binks: Me sa glad sa that you sa said that I sa am sa the best thing about Star Wars sa. CHEWBACCA: Roar!!! Ben Kenobi: The force will be with you.......... uhm......... always?
Super. The recording is a good likeness of Garth Brooks' voice.
The force is strong in you, young Spaffwalker!
The Spaff wire strikes back. With a vengeance!
Twisted and evil :-)
Impressive, Spaff. Most impressive. All 5s.
( Randy Jackson impression) Yo dawg I thouhgt that was da bomb! Not pacy at all, just great! 555's from me! ( Puala imprssion ) Oh Spaff, that was great whenever you post a parody it melts my heart *claps* ( Simon impression) I thought it was great not bad Ryan Seacrest : And the parody idol 2005 is...SPAFF. COM!!!!
Superb! 555
I had this nugget of a parody specially-delivered to my Inbox yesterday, which was like viewing a premiere before the rest of you pitiful mortals. Still hilarious, Spaff!
"Gonna TRADE Artoo - for a VI-BRATOR!" and "one-Jedi-Knight-stand" were 2 faves - and I know very little about Star Wars - but it's always nice to see The Return Of The Spaff - 555
555....but you need to leave our planet right now and return to wherever you are from. I did this song last year (Hair In Low Places) and thought it was decent....even had a line about cream that chases those crabs away.....but after seeing what the Master did with this song, mine looks lame. I think I hear your mom callin' from a galaxy far, far away. If you leave now, you might make it home in time for dinner.....in about 30 million light years, which is about how long it will take us humans to write like this Get packin', if you know what's good for ya mister :-)
Nicley Done !!
Excellent :-)
Thanx, Jeff H & Rick C & Adam E & Two Halves of Coconuts!
Sister Evenstar: I live for your pointless and lame comments.
Tim It'syourmonthfield: "Matter of fact, it's all dark."
scholar rhodes: I'm humbled to receive the "Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today" award. It's an impressive honor with an impressive acronym.
C4P: Thanx for posting that Dr Demento request link. Everyone is free to use it. Hint hint.
Jeffaroo: It's no "Anal Vice," but thanks. And I added that final chorus just for you.
YWN: Not to mention the single entendres.
Matthias: Wow - thanks. But no comment from that hot female Jedi with the jester-hat head?
Royce-a-Ryni: You mean DARTH Brooks.
Melhigh: I'll moisture-farm with you any time.
Michaelopedia: Here's one for you: Ever notice that Lucas stole most of his Star Wars episode titles from Pink Panther movies?
Stevenagh: Hoping I would get a visit from the parody Jedi Master, I was. Honored I am.
Local Celeb: Heh heh. You realize that the only reason Paula said that is because I'm sleeping with her. Randy and Simon too.
Ralphing Luke: I wasn't going to tell you this, but everyone else got it a week ago.
s2art: Thanx for muddling through this unfamiliar territory. If you haven't seen the first one (which is now the fourth one), you really should. That's ultimately what the fuss is all about.
Dee Crabbed: Flattery will get you everywhere. I'm gonna get packin' to check out yours...
Sister Evenstar: I live for your pointless and lame comments.
Tim It'syourmonthfield: "Matter of fact, it's all dark."
scholar rhodes: I'm humbled to receive the "Favorite of Alvin Rhodes Today" award. It's an impressive honor with an impressive acronym.
C4P: Thanx for posting that Dr Demento request link. Everyone is free to use it. Hint hint.
Jeffaroo: It's no "Anal Vice," but thanks. And I added that final chorus just for you.
YWN: Not to mention the single entendres.
Matthias: Wow - thanks. But no comment from that hot female Jedi with the jester-hat head?
Royce-a-Ryni: You mean DARTH Brooks.
Melhigh: I'll moisture-farm with you any time.
Michaelopedia: Here's one for you: Ever notice that Lucas stole most of his Star Wars episode titles from Pink Panther movies?
Stevenagh: Hoping I would get a visit from the parody Jedi Master, I was. Honored I am.
Local Celeb: Heh heh. You realize that the only reason Paula said that is because I'm sleeping with her. Randy and Simon too.
Ralphing Luke: I wasn't going to tell you this, but everyone else got it a week ago.
s2art: Thanx for muddling through this unfamiliar territory. If you haven't seen the first one (which is now the fourth one), you really should. That's ultimately what the fuss is all about.
Dee Crabbed: Flattery will get you everywhere. I'm gonna get packin' to check out yours...
Should he be called Darth Venereal instead?
Spaff, I just realized: They're not crabs, they're midi-chlorians! The Force is with you! As for the Pink Panther reference, let me take a shot in the dark and say, at least we appear to have been spared "Episode VII: Trail of the Banthas" and "Episode VIII: Curse of the Gungans" (Jar Jar's peeps).
The sith don't do one knight stands, they're always two in a long time relationship. Oh, and I so stole the last pun in the following (from last year) parody from one of yours. ;-)
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/judaspriest13.shtml
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/judaspriest13.shtml
Aggro: What you would catch from him, then, would be a Darth Venereal Disease, so beware of Star Wars fans who say they've got the DVD.
Michaelopedia: That makes Steve Martin "A New Hope." And I don't understand the whole midi-chlorians thing, other than, yes, they're like crabs, and the more you have, the more likely you are to go to a sci-fi movie dressed as one of the characters.
Peter: Now I get it - it's one of those "let's play master and servant" things. I'll get to your Judas Priest parody shortly...
Michaelopedia: That makes Steve Martin "A New Hope." And I don't understand the whole midi-chlorians thing, other than, yes, they're like crabs, and the more you have, the more likely you are to go to a sci-fi movie dressed as one of the characters.
Peter: Now I get it - it's one of those "let's play master and servant" things. I'll get to your Judas Priest parody shortly...
Just reviewing the comments and was alarmed to find no one had done a "Revenge of the Syph" pun. So that's fixed now. Oh, and also: http://www.clamhead.com/drdrequest.php
C4P: Revenge of the Syph! Bwahahaha! Oh, and thanx for posting that Dr Demento request link. Everyone is free to use it. Hint hint.
In related news:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050526/sc_afp/australiaanimalscrabs
Note that that occurred the same week "Revenge of the Sith" hit the top of the Aussie box office. Coincidence?
In related news:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050526/sc_afp/australiaanimalscrabs
Note that that occurred the same week "Revenge of the Sith" hit the top of the Aussie box office. Coincidence?
Garth got crabs from Darth? How is that possible?...... I wonder if Anni forgot to tell Luke something in "The Empire Strikes Back": DARTH: Luke, I am your father. And this man has something imprtant to tell you. GARTH: Howdy, y'all. I'm country music star Garth Brooks.. and Luke, I think I might also be your father.... 5-5-5! This is priceless! I requested too!
SOTM: Still excellent!
SOTM: Already voted and commented
(sotm) see above
(SOTM) Commented above, just came by to read the new comments... Could name the Bigfoot movies similarly... Big Foot, The Sasquatch Hikes Back, Return of the Yeti, Phantom Witness, A Track of the Clones, Revenge of the Myth
(SOTM05) Voted and commented above but, the second time around, it was even more superberer!
(SOTM) I must have had a brain fart to not comment on this before Spaff. Although I must be one of 3 people in the world to not see the new Star Wars, this is still funny ( wish I could access the MP3 ). Even with my lack of SW knowledge, still too many funny lines to point out. Nice take on a country song I actually know and like, hehe.
(SOTM) God, I hate Garth Brooks...this is...well...it's inspired. It's great, actually, despite the horrid OS. 5s as always.
Thanx, Jeffaroo & Aggro & Ricksy & Sgt Decker!
CBTM: Now I'll never shake the mental image of Garth Brooks walking into the middle of that scene. Hilarious. And thanks for harassing Dr. D. for me.
DAK: Any idea what your previous comment said?
Tim Maysquash: Heh heh. And don't forget Bigfoot and Chewbacca's hot love scene in "When Hairy Met Smelly."
Ant in Chains: I hate to give too much away, but Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Honestly. And Padme becomes Liza Minnelli.
CBTM: Now I'll never shake the mental image of Garth Brooks walking into the middle of that scene. Hilarious. And thanks for harassing Dr. D. for me.
DAK: Any idea what your previous comment said?
Tim Maysquash: Heh heh. And don't forget Bigfoot and Chewbacca's hot love scene in "When Hairy Met Smelly."
Ant in Chains: I hate to give too much away, but Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Honestly. And Padme becomes Liza Minnelli.
Well, I knew about Anakin. Forgot my vote: 5's of course. PS- Check this out to see what happens when you get ideas watching Star Wars ( yep, shameless plug coming ):
http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/nirvana200.shtml
The updated story link is in the comments.
http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/nirvana200.shtml
The updated story link is in the comments.
I requested this songo n that request page I hope you and Robetr become the parody writing Lennon/McCartney, Tuapin/John
(SOTM05) Too many funny lines to pick out just one...the whole thing is LOLOL 5's
(SOTM) The test results are in. You are completely insane. :-)
Excellent lyrics and MP3 with very clever sound effects. A lot of very clever lines, particularly the "one-Jedi knight stand" and "dic-tator" lines.
(SOTM) Absolutely brilliant. Star Wars parodies are always my favourites. But I have to admit, this was well written and (oh please let me be unoriginal here) the force is definetly with you (augh I said it). The recording is hilarious as well. Great work, Spaff. May the tri-fives be with you (aah stop me).
(SOTM) Behold, ye parody readers ... this be why we calleth him The Mighty Spaff ... You don't agree? (sound of heavy mechanical breathing)...I find your lack of faith...(sound of heavy mechanical breathing)...distuuuurrrbing...
SOTM--just as good as ever, Spaff...but I'll add "Buuuut NOW I itch like a Tusken Raider" to the "freaks in Mos Eisley" line as those that make me giggle the hardest...=)
(SOTM) - see above - I managed to hear the Robert Lund recording this time, Spaff, (and filled out the "do over" form - surely Dr D'd be pleased to know he has listeners in Oz) which helped immensely, as I didn't know the OS, but the gags I liked originally are still the ones I liked best - oh and "That's not all that went home with meeeee!"
I'm still haunted by the thought of Vader's respiration... and this is still inspirational!
You write so well it makes me sick. And I take so long to comment it makes me sick. I'm a sick, sick man and so are you. It's good to have a sick, sick home to come home to.
Thanx, Patagio & Ralphing Luke!
Ant in Chains: Check your comments.
Local Celebrity: Or maybe Shirley Partridge/Reuben Kinkade.
Scathe: See if I ever take another urinalysis.
Johnkins: I sent RL a pile of sound effects; he had to figure out what to do with them. I'm glad you like the result.
Squirrely: Thanks for using that quote and not something like "Now that I've quickly given my babies names that conveniently match those of characters in the first movie, I mean the FOURTH episode, I've lost the will to live. Please proceed, Dr. Kevorkian."
Johnny BD: What I find distuuuurbing is your ability to post so many great comments.
Sister Evenstar: I originally had that as "I kick ass like the Arwenator" but had to change it so you and Ash wouldn't sue me.
Looney 2nz: And welcome to it, sicko.
s2art mcRthR & everyone else who requested this on Dr. Demento: Thanx a bazillion. Your efforts were not in vain. Check out this playlist:
http://mypage.iu.edu/~jbmorris/FAQ/drd05.0703.html
Ant in Chains: Check your comments.
Local Celebrity: Or maybe Shirley Partridge/Reuben Kinkade.
Scathe: See if I ever take another urinalysis.
Johnkins: I sent RL a pile of sound effects; he had to figure out what to do with them. I'm glad you like the result.
Squirrely: Thanks for using that quote and not something like "Now that I've quickly given my babies names that conveniently match those of characters in the first movie, I mean the FOURTH episode, I've lost the will to live. Please proceed, Dr. Kevorkian."
Johnny BD: What I find distuuuurbing is your ability to post so many great comments.
Sister Evenstar: I originally had that as "I kick ass like the Arwenator" but had to change it so you and Ash wouldn't sue me.
Looney 2nz: And welcome to it, sicko.
s2art mcRthR & everyone else who requested this on Dr. Demento: Thanx a bazillion. Your efforts were not in vain. Check out this playlist:
http://mypage.iu.edu/~jbmorris/FAQ/drd05.0703.html
Dang it, late again! You KNOW how good this is, Spafford...;-) 555
Well done for winning the contest!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=7399;image
Used the force you did. Great song you wrote. Say it better I could not. An easy way to get to me is to write a Star Wars song.
Coryo: May the forks be with you. (Sorry - that's all I got.)
That was sooo great! That was like Weird Al great. It was one of the best I have ever heard. 5-5-5
Thanx, Dat. It was actually a bit tricky luring Lord Vader into the studio. We had to pretend this was about seafood.
(SOTY 05) And here's another one from King Spaff...good enough for a few Dr. Demento Funny Five appearances as vocalized by Robert Lund. Much congrats again!
(SOTY 2005) See above, but this time I was able to d/l Robert Lund's recording. Truly funny, though I really wanted to hear the last chorus (buy the CD, right? ;-)).
Kristof & Tarquin: Just realized I missed comments from you from A YEAR AGO. Oops. I suck. Thank you.
Johnny D: Belated thanks for the medal. I wear it nonstop.
Aggro & Red: At least my thanks to you two are only four months late. (Okay, four months and a week.) Hopefully there will be another Robert Lund CD by the end of the year, and yes, I will pressure you mercilessly to buy it.
Johnny D: Belated thanks for the medal. I wear it nonstop.
Aggro & Red: At least my thanks to you two are only four months late. (Okay, four months and a week.) Hopefully there will be another Robert Lund CD by the end of the year, and yes, I will pressure you mercilessly to buy it.
TOOO FUNNY! Laughed my butt off.
Shannon: Ah, yes. I see it there on the floor. I'll give it back when I'm through with it.
We love it. You'd be proud of our group karaoke rendition!
Anti M: I'd love to hear you (and Dorothy and Toto and the gang) sing this. Please keep me posted on your upcoming performances.
LOL I still remember when Revenge of the Sith came out, on Late Night With Conan O'Brien, he did a bit with rejected Star Wars characters, one of them was Darth Brooks, did THAT inspire this?
Local Celeb: No, I never saw that, but heh heh.
Ah,ok then,it was great LOL
I did not use my real name. I liked this song. when i showed it to my friend [who has every country song ever made on his I-pod] he started to SING IT TO THE TUNE. I may be in middle school, but this darth vader song is funny. I just watched star wars, 1-5 and I still sit and think, ' what on earth would Darth Vader do if he read this?' Don't stop making these parodies. just don't show them to Darth Vader.
if his arms and legs got burned off, wouldn't his... nevermind... i am way too grossed out to ask. :(
gemflower456: Thanks. I won't stop writing parodies, and I won't show them to Darth Vader. Or your parents. anonny mouse: That's why he covers his ENTIRE body. And psychologists agree that the light saber is his way of compensating.
Truly inspired humor! I shared this with my co-workers and they flipped. I know several of them have it on their MySpace pages now and are looking for a CD....
Thanks, Ashley. I'm hoping for a "Best of Robert Lund" CD sometime in the next year or so. Meanwhile, this song is on Dr. Demento's Basement Tapes #14, but I'm not sure where to tell you to find that. (eBay? Coruscant?)
Is this in Epsiode 7? It should play over the opening crawl
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