Here in Springfield, just you wait and see
They say parks will see a killing spree
Spreading lies with racist tropes and innuendo,
Vance claims this is how it’s gonna be:

Cats and dogs and geese in a curry
JD Vance says you better worry
JD Vance says you better worry what’s become of Spot.
He claims migrants with strange religions,
Steal your pets and public park pigeons
Season them with weird superstitions and cook in a pot

The menu is set and features your pet
Say bigots who just want to scare you
A chateaubriand of cats has been found
Goes perfect with RFK’s bear, too.

Whether finned or feathered or furry
Cherished animals better scurry
Or wind up in a gravy or slurry if they’re ever caught
He’s gettin’ all white christian bigots to become overwrought

Vance thinks rites of witches and mystics
Have all the wrong characteristics,
Don’t agree with his eucharistics and will come to nought
He says you should be quite religious
Just don’t make Communion delicious
But his claims have proven fictitious and a lot of rot

The lies are prodigious as he prattles along
About how endangered is Rover
And now comes another to sing this sad song:
The guy with the world’s worst combover.

They promise to stop immigration
And make this a white christian nation
Making it a nation where just the Bible’s taught
Says the short-fingered fraudster, rapist, and a despot

Don’t believe election resisters
Give a crap about your Mister Whiskers
About you, your brothers, and sisters they don’t care a jot.
Lately trumpies have been rethinkin’
If they’re still the party of Lincoln
Warning lights have sure been a-blinkin’ and they’ll never stop
For the aging orange Nazi with a minge on the top


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