Funniest Lyrics, Billy Joel
				
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 1973-97-Complete Hits Collection album at Amazon.com
One, two, and I hear the song say
Funny, but in the beginning, a line can be heard faintly by Billy Joel.
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
Got to have a little elbow room of my own
"Elbow room" is basically a corner; it seems funny that he would mention it.
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
So in my small way I'm a big man on Mulberry Street
 I don't mean all day
 Only at night when I'm light on my feet
'Light on my feet' is one of my favorite phrases in life. The person stomps the light bulb lit from the lamp! wow! In the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures' comic book, the luuuusssshhhh----y Leonardo inside giant robot body of Krang's, said 'Whoa! Kinda bumpy in here, I wish Krang was lighter on his feet' with Donatello.
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
You had the Dom Perignon in your hand
 And the spoon up your nose
At least *he* didn't have the spoon in *his* hand and the Dom Perignon up *his* nose. That would've been embarrassing.
Submitted by: Joe Mello
 
And who was wrong, and who was right,
 it didn't matter in the peak of the fight
Well actually wouldn't it have mattered very much?  I mean you don't wanna wind up killing someone on your side, or the side you think is right, you wanna kill the enemy, don't you?
Submitted by: Mike Florio
 
But it's not only me
 Breaking down when the tension gets high
 Just when I'm in a serious mood
 She is suddenly quiet and shy.
Pressure is breaking down when it gets high. This lady is suddenly quiet and shy. Well??
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
You see her sitting with her coffee and her paper
 In the morning she leaves you with your coffee and your paper
Sorry, but some people work alone with their coffee and their paper...including me.
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
He says, "Son can you play me a memory?
 I'm not really sure how it goes.
 But it's sad and it's sweet
 And I knew it complete
 When I wore a younger man's clothes."
Some might recognize the REACHING metonymy here, but to others --- Guess the younger man took back his clothes!
Submitted by: Kayla McSwain
 
I'm slipping and sliding, 'cause I'm running on ice.
Well of course, Billy. Trying to run on such a slick surface is going to inevitably make you slip and slide. Hope you don't get hurt in the process.
Submitted by: Alex
 
Tomorrow morning you'll wake up with the white noise
White noise from the television in the morning!?!? That's too loud! That'll REALLY wake you up!
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
And I can just hear all my friends say
 'Better watch out, you're losing your touch!'
 She's such a temptation 
Kind of a mixed message here.
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
So I've learned to dance with a hand in my pants
He wouldn't be able to use that hand when dancing; it would be rather difficult, I would imagine.
Submitted by: Joe Mello
 
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Wow, Billy Joel mentions two Disney movies and a Disney theme park in this line. However Elvis was not part of Disney. (However, they were all associated with 1955.) Anyway, that made me laugh!
Submitted by: WhizkidF
 
Where's the orchestra?
 Wasn't this supposed to be a musical?
 Here I am in the balcony
 How the hell could I have missed the overture?
Self-explanatory.
Submitted by: Mike Hack
 
I've been stranded in the combat zone
 I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
 Even rode my motorcycle in the rain.
'Motorcycle in the rain' makes the engine sputter and rattle.  That sounds a bit funny.
Submitted by: Diane Berth
 
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